Focus

It's so easy to say that having goals is a good thing.  It is great business practice, it is important for athletes of all levels, it even applies to parenting and relationships, finances and spending habits.  But how we focus on our goals, and how we use our goals to motivate us, is also key.

Last weekend Misty and I went for a run.  It was muggy and gross, and I had forgotten that the local library (on our route) was having a huge community yard sale.  As usual, Misty was thrilled to see her harness and leash, so I was expecting a great run, despite the ick factor and the sidewalk traffic.  I set a goal--to improve upon my route time.  Ready, Set...TROT???  We weren't more than two or three minutes into the run when it became clear that while Misty was excited about running, she wasn't going to be doing much of it.  She was doing a ton of sniffing, was dragging behind, and frankly, was driving me a bit bonkers.  Instead of coaching her through the run, encouraging her to "leave it" when we hit a smell, I found myself annoyed that my goal was at risk.  I still SAID the right things, but my attitude was off.  By the time we got to the Library (just shy of a mile), I was ready to walk through the yard sales with a pissy attitude.  

The thing is, my goal was more important than the process.  The only way I would achieve my goal was if my partner and I were on the same page.  Instead of working WITH Misty, I found myself trying to convince her to "do it my way."  Instead of recognizing the value of giving her a few minutes to just be a dog, and then starting my route, I had tunnel-vision.  MY goal, MY run, MY way.  

The reason this is important is evident in my previous posts.  I don't even really LIKE to run!  But I sure like goals and achieving them.  And in my running, Misty has been a key component to my efforts.  Her input, her contributions, can not, and should not, be minimized, even on a day where her ideas were different than mine and we weren't getting to my goal in a manner that I could comprehend.

So how did it turn out?  I'll be frank.  My poor dog just needed to go poop.  It's pretty uncomfortable to run in that state, isn't it?  I was too tied up in my own expectations to pay attention to her cues!!  We got past the yard sale, found a garbage can, and then sure enough, she TOOK OFF!  So instead of getting our fastest 3 miles time, we cranked out our fastest 2 mile time, and did so with splits faster than what would have been possible for a third mile.  

Did I achieve my goal?  No.  But I achieved something close, and probably did better work in the end.  It was in the listening...in the realization of her position as my partner, that I was able to readjust and together, we could achieve something great.  

Do you set goals?  By yourself, or with others' involvement?  How do you adjust when you goals are not achievable?  How well do you work with others in your pursuits of your goals, even if they are only involved as an outside encourager?  How about when their actions directly impact your success?

Overcoming The Uncomfortable

"The Struggle Is Real!"  It's a saying we hear...or a hashtag we read.  But what does it mean?  Food choices?  Relationship problems?  Going to work each day for a job you don't love?  Maybe it is all of them.  So often then, comes the question of "How do I overcome the uncomfortable?"

A couple of weeks ago Misty and I went out for a run.  In this case, the struggle was real.  I didn't want to go, but she clearly did.  I would have been quite content going for a walk, listening to the birds, and looking for those first signs of spring.  But alas, she was pulling, making it clear we were going to jog, not walk.  We've got a three-mile course that's a straight shot, u turn and return, so we headed out.  Frankly, I just wasn't feeling it, but as usual, the more I watched Misty, and the more I coached her through the run, I came to realize I had made a decision.  I followed her up the hills because I had no choice--I could have walked, but I would have slowed down her progress, and I would have been annoyed at myself for getting in her (and my own) way.  And because of that decision, I ultimately served myself better which meant the rest of my day--my role as a parent, a wife, a friend, a business owner--would all go more smoothly.  

This run, this lesson for me, was less about being a leader and more about being a follower.  And if not a follower, at least a leader that recognizes that sometimes we have to lean on others, trust in their guidance, and listen to their nudgings that get us through the suck.  Whether it is fitness, work, love, or just life, your foundation of strength comes from within.  However, the supporting structures--those things that make the foundation sound even on days it feels rocky--are important too.  Big things can be achieved by accepting help when it is offered, and allowing others to give you their strength is not only a gift to you, but to them as well.

Are you willing to lean on others?