In doing so, I have been forced to face some training demons. I find it amazing, when I step back and look at it objectively, how unfair I am to my body. A route I run regularly with Misty, with relative ease, becomes more challenging simply because I don't have her to encourage. Our society often puts unfair expectations, primarily on women, regarding their body image, their self confidence, and their belief in what they can achieve.
Recently a gym friend started a "Love Your Body" Campaign on her blog. It was a real privilege to contribute. I am including my full story here, and encourage you to spend time on her blog. Not only are there some really powerful stories from numerous strong and powerful women, there are several contributions from different men and their thoughts on women, bodies, empowerment, self-respect, and more.
“What part of your body do you love?” For some, that’s probably an easy question. For others, it’s hugely challenging. When I was asked it, I was torn. I wanted to say things like “My smile!” except I’ve noticed more and more wrinkles...or “My abs...because they’ve been showing up more and more!” except I’m still embarrassed, even at 39, by my “pooch” that I’ve always had. And when you can look around and see a room full of hot bodies...bodies you’d love to have...it’s hard to say that what you’ve got compares. AND THAT SHOULD BE THE POINT. That no matter the comparison, because that is bound to happen, value should not be based upon it.
This subject has been something that I have been giving a lot of thought to over the past several years, and I’m glad to finally have the nudge necessary to put my thoughts down on paper. For three years I had the privilege of being the head coach of a predominantly woman-athlete crossfit program. I saw beautiful bodies...not because of their perfect breasts or firm thighs (although there were some of those for sure!) but because the bodies...small or big, tall and short, too thin or too heavy, were TRYING. And on days where things were challenging and someone would say “I only did XX rounds” or “I only did XX weight” I encouraged a change. Be enthusiastic about your work! “I did XX rounds!!” or “I did XX pounds!!” And it was with great personal joy I would see a smile spread across the athlete’s face. In that moment, they were honoring their effort...a phrase I often wrote on the board underneath the workout. In that moment, their whole body was loved.
It’s because of those years that I have been rather introspective. I have often begrudged my heavy thighs, my “pooch”, my pear shape. I have wanted something thinner, more tone, less difficult to dress. But I am coming to see with the reality that my body, as imperfect (in comparison) as it is, HAS DONE EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER ASKED OF IT. Sure, it could have been better, stronger, faster. But even in struggle or failure, my body has excelled. It stood proudly in uniform as I joined the military and in strength, allowed me the privilege of serving our country. It runs when I tell it to, it climbed a 15ft rope 5 times even though I haven’t touched a rope in more than 10 years, it swims after months out of the water. It recovers when I stay up too late, eat too much or too little, and heals when I hurt it, forgives when I abuse it. It allows me to pick up a heavy weight, teach a class, demonstrate a movement even if I’m not warmed up. It gives me the health I take for granted, and the strength to pour myself into others, even when they don’t know I am doing it. It may not be the leanest, or the fittest, or the tallest, or the strongest, but my body is dedicated to me and all I asked of it.
Which of course, brings me to the photo shoot. I was too caught up in what flaws I saw to really find something I was willing to let the photographer feature, and so I asked my two children. “What do you think is the best part of momma’s body? What do you think is the neatest thing that momma’s body can do?” In the naivete of youth, I wanted to be careful about how I phrased that, lest I project on them what society will do anyway. Their responses? “Your heart...because it loves us very much. And your arms...because they hug us and hold us and show us that you love us and keep us safe.” And this is where my body has truly gone above and beyond. With ease, my body carried two healthy babies. I had two easy and fast deliveries. I struggled with breastfeeding, yet my body still provided. I struggled with frustration, yet my body still got up every morning and carried me through my challenges. I can carry my son who is nearly as tall as me if needed, and I can hold my daughter close when she needs a snuggle. I can chase them and play with them, and I can walk away from them when my emotions are too sharp or my frustration too high.
So today, as I try and decide what part of my body I love, I still have no answers. I see the influence of society on my acceptance of my flaws, and I recognize that the grace I so freely give others (and passionately encourage them to give themselves) is something I often deny myself. But those things I hold back from myself, that acceptance, is in the mind. For in the body, I am strong and amazing. Because my body has done everything I have ever asked of it, and today, I honor my body’s effort, because it is most deserving. Check out Jen's blog at justmejennb.com for more about the Love Your Body Campaign, as well as her other writings about exercise, parenting, and life.
